Gardner Minshew Cares About Your Testicles And His Cleats Prove It
Huge shoutout to Jacksonville Jaguars franchise quarterback Nick Foles Gardner Minshew for caring about the boys' boys. November is over but Movember rolls on. I bet Gardner knows that you can join team barstool at Movember.com/barstool and for every 50 bucks that your team earns, you earn a spot to come with us to the Army/Navy game. He knows about it but he didn't mention it because he's classy. He wants you to have a better chance to win. Unreal.
Besides the on-field play, this just is another reason why Gardner is so much more enjoyable as our quarterback. Nick Foles isn't making nut jokes on his cleats. Nick probably has a lunch pail on his shoes or a cup of black coffee like the square that he is. Fucking nerd.
I love Gardner and I know he doesnt want me to talk shit about Foles but I cant help it. I hate him. HATE.
Now that you are done reading the blog, reach deep inside your trousers and grab those smooth, boiled egg-like testicles of yours. Give em a little squeeze and a rub. I'll wait.
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Feel anything weird? Bumps? A protrusion? I hope not. If not, see a DOCTOR! Your balls are worth it, baby. It's 2019 and we're taking our health seriously, fellas. Good work, everybody.